A week ago I had a little bit of a crisis here. Three of the boys - Alfredo, Eduardo and Chucho - skipped school. They missed the bus because they slept in and then never let anyone know that they hadn't gone. Here in our world that is a big deal. So I ended up having to punish them. Now the catch with this is that Alfredo is my favorite. I truly love this child. So disciplining him was heartbreaking for me - I seriously don't know how parents do it. And I believe it was pretty hard on Alfredo as well. For about 3 days he couldn't look at me - he didn't seem angry, just ashamed. During these 3 days I was sad - really sad. And then Thursday night happened. He and Eduardo came over dressed like "nerds" and wanted their picture taken. We laughed a lot and they were so cute and endearing. And now things are find - better than ever. If I'm ever a mother I think it will be an emotional roller coaster for me.

Giving Thanks

Since I never had the opportunity yesterday to write what I'm actually thankful, I'm going to take the extra couple of minutes I have now before I have to go pick up the junior high. There is a lot and it would be impossible to recount every blessing God has given me but here are some of the highlights:


My wonderful family who has supported me so well during the last two years that I have lived in Mexico. They have made it possible for me. I'm also thankful that I had the opportunity to spend a few days with most of them on the cruise last October. We had a great reason to celebrate - the life of my Mom!


The kids here are so wonderful and have captured my heart completely. Of course Celina is very special to me - she's so cute and she lives with me so I'm biased. And then Alfredo will always be my favorite. But I can honestly say that I love all of the children who live here.


I have the most amazing friends in the world. I really don't think there is another person on earth who has been so richly blessed in friendships. I worried when I moved to Mexico that I would grow apart from some of them but I think the opposite has happened - I have an even deeper appreciation for these amazing women who are an essential part of my life.


This place is beautiful and I'm grateful that I have this time in my life to live here. I always think that this will probably be the most beautiful place that I've lived in. Every day I am amazed at the mountains and the sunsets and the flowers and just everything that God has created in this place.

Thanksgiving

Yesterday was nonstop in the kitchen - cooking dinner for what turned out to be 150 people. I'm so proud of us for accomplishing it - but I never want to do it again! I didn't have my camera on me and I don't think I would have had a chance to take pictures but I know some friends took pictures so I'll need to put them on here eventually. I hope that next year I'm with my family for this holiday.

Update

It's been quite some time since I've updated. So I'll just give you some random thoughts about my life.

* I have been having problems with my eyes. I consistently have an eye infection in one of them - never both at the same time. So I've been wearing my glasses a lot and my sister was kind enough to send me money to buy new contacts.

* I cannot believe tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Where did this year go? I'm in charge of cooking dinner for everyone and quite honestly it is stressing me out. I would much rather be in New York cooking dinner for my family. But my friend Billy is coming and bringing 12 cans of pumpkin so that will be a special treat. It's ironic because the first time I had pumpkin pie was on a trip to the Baja and now that I'm in Oaxaca pumpkin is one of the foods I miss the most.

* Celina continues to grow and I just delight in her. She's so funny and does so many new things. She can now say "help" in sign language. Jill is a great mother to her.

* I also will be here for Christmas because it is just too expensive to go home. So we are going to try to make the best of it. WE're already planning what we will do with the kids - Burger King, parade in the zocalo, brunch, gifts. It should be fun - but I miss SNOW!!

Reina

A tradition in Mexico is to have a party for girls when they turn 15. Because we want our girls to feel valued and not to feel like they are missing out by living here, we try to celebrate them big. This last weekend we had a party for two of our girls, Reina and Margarita. They are both from the same area - Amoltepec - and have seen a lot of pain and rejection in their short lives. I had the privilege of blessing Reina during the party and here is what I shared:

Reina – You are such a blessing to us here in the home. I’m grateful for the day Edgar went to Oaxaca to pick you up. I remember telling both Jill and Edgar that you had to stay here. I knew right away that there was something special about you. You have amazed me with your strength and perseverance. You have experienced things in your life that no one should have to experience. But you have gone through them with grace and with a joyful spirit. You have grown because of these experiences and you are even more beautiful because of them. And now we are here celebrating your life and an age where you become a woman. I love that we have an opportunity to have a party for you because there are so many things to celebrate about you. I love your honesty, your sweetness, your kindness and your joy. I love watching you with your daughter and I love laughing with you in our house. I appreciate that you have taken the laundry job and put your efforts into doing it well. I know Jill appreciates that when she talks to you about something to change you are willing to hear it and make an effort to do those changes. My hope for you as you enter this next stage of life is that you understand how loved you are – by God and by your family here. I pray you are surrounded by people who make you feel special and see all the beauty in you. I pray God gives you a hope for your future and that you can trust He has good things planned for you.

2 Year Annivesary

It has now officially been 2 years since we moved to Mexico. This time has flown by. It has been challenging and rewarding and life changing. This has been the richest experience of my life but also the most difficult. One of the most difficult parts of being in Mexico is being away from my friends and family. There have been major life changes in the lives of some of my closest friends - one got married, one is engaged, one is pregnant, one had a baby, one lost her husband to cancer, one passed away from cancer, one was diagnosed with cancer - and I haven't been there for these significant markers in their lives. But my life here in Mexico has been rich and I have fallen in love with children, made new friends and created a new community, learned so much and created so many memories. So I thought I'd share a few of the highlights from the last year as a way of celebrating:

* Moving here with Jill was a huge blessing. I can't even imagine doing this by myself.
* I started off working in sponsorship - which was a job I loved - and ended up working as the administrator - a job I know I'm called to but that brings along a whole set of challenges. Some days I think that I just can't do this anymore and I just want to go back to sponsorship but other days I feel like I'm being used and that I'm being stretched in my leadership in invaluable ways.
* My Spanish has come a long way. I can now understand almost anything in Spanish, I can read books in Spanish and my speaking ability continues to improve. I have a long way to go until I would proclaim myself fluent but there's definitely been progress.
* The children are an absolute highlight. I feel so much affection for the kids and have never received so many hugs in my life. Of course everyone knows that Alfredo is my favorite - he's now 12 and in the junior high. It makes me sad that he's so old. Monse and Celina have also been highlights - the little girls that Jill has been responsible for. I love being Aunt Janelle to them.
* I love when friends and family come to visit - and have been blessed by many of them coming. The rest of you are always welcome! And of course my trips to the states have been great as well - everyone always spoils me.
* Spiritually I have been stretched and pushed outside of what I am comfortable with - and will never be the same because of it. I feel closer to God now than I ever have in my life. I think part of this is because I feel such a need for Him in my life while doing this job and this ministry.

There are so many things I could share and very specific memories I could put down that you all wouldn't understand. So to summarize I'll just say that I'm thankful. One of the most popular questions I receive is - "How much longer do you think you'll be in Oaxaca?" And I really don't know the answer. Sometimes I think I'll be here for years - or as my friend Paul predicted before moving here - for 5 years. Other times I'm overwhelmed by homesickness that I just want to move back in that moment. I felt that today when I saw a picture of my friend Judy on-line. I just wanted to sit down and have coffee with her. The bottom line is - I'm in trouble either way. There will always be a place I'm longing for - either the US or Oaxaca. And I really don't know how long I'll live in Oaxaca.

Nayeli

A couple weeks ago we received a new treasure here in the home named Nayeli. She is 13, has never known her father and her mother abandoned her when she was 5. Since then she has lived with her very old grandfather. And let me tell you that she is a BRAT. For the sake of the other children and the staff who are responsible for her - we are about to kick her out. So in the midst of many of the conversations we've had with her, Edgar, our pastor, told her the only way she could stay is if she confesses everything she's done and asks for forgiveness. That night this letter was sitting on his desk:

The truth is that I am not someone who asks for forgiveness but this will be an exception because I want to stay.
I sincerely ask for forgiveness and I confess that I have done:

* I have lied to Jill about many things.
* I have been thrown out of my classroom several times.
* I stole 2 pesos from the little girls' house that was sitting on a table.
* I hit someone in my class.
* I've talked back to Jill, Sister Chave, Reyna and Janelle.
* I have talked badly about all of you.
* I have gone to the hammocks really late at night.
* I have hit on Eduardo and Jose (without their permission).
* I did not take the $50 pesos from Yolanda.
* I have not completed my chores and if I did I didn't do them well.
* I haven't completed various homework assignments.
* I have talked back to my teachers.
* I am not always sincere.
* I have told many lies.
* I really don't like Janelle.

* I ask for forgiveness and I am sorry.
* I ask you from my heart for another opportunity.

Thank you.

The last line of her confession killed me. I've thought about it all weekend. The truth is that I really don't like her either. But she's 13 and had a horrible life and I feel bad about that. And I have this thing about being liked. I know that not all the kids like me - that goes hand in hand with authority. But to really not like me - harsh. I need to get over it and recognize that it's mutual - I know this. But in a way it's ruined my weekend.

September 11th

Today is September 11th - my brother Robby's birthday but also a day of remembrance for our country. It's difficult to believe that 8 years ago these attacks happened. Time flies. I'll never forget that morning - I was working at Park and didn't realize anything was happening until I got to work. On the walk there I noticed that things were eerily quiet but I had no idea that our world had changed. I remember feeling so much fear - for my own safety living in Chicago, for the economy, for all those who had been affected, for how we were going to retaliate as a nation. I remember watching George Bush's speech that night and feeling so much compassion for him. Why do these men want to be the president? I remember wanting to know where all of my friends and family were and being reminded of how fragile life is and how quickly it can change. I remember Osama bin Laden becoming a household name.